It’s almost new years eve . . .
And time for you to get really
fucking wasted and then drive home.
Well, I haven’t updated in a really long time… mostly because it has
been a real bitch to do. Maybe if my new
way of editing the web page works, I will do it more often.
Anyway, I guess it’s time for some new years resolutions:
1.
I’m going to stop
writing about girl’s masturbation habits.
Way too many people email me about it and it’s getting on my nerves.
2.
No more
porn. That isn’t to say I’m going to
stop looking at it, but rather I’m going to stop selling images of my cock to
40 year old obese men. However, for a
nominal fee, I will still paint your favorite anime character on my chest and
dance for you (very popular in both
3.
I’m going to
actually accomplish something other than making 13 year old boys laugh at dick
jokes (see above).
4.
Over the course
of the year, I’m going to hunt down and sodomize every person that bitches
about my white background.
5.
I’m going to eat
a kiwi because I’ve never had one before. I’ve had kiwi flavored drinks, but
I’ve never actually eaten a kiwi. Isn’t that strange?
6.
For one week I am
going to live on the street, eat garbage, and beg for change just so I can see
what it’s like to be Adam Corolla. That
poor bastard.
7.
Last but not
least, I’m never updating this website again. So long, suckers.
Comments? jeremiah@yourapathy.net
© 2004-2005 by Jeremiah
I wonder how many people actually believe any of that bullshit.