Tips for getting down in the back seat of a car.
Believe it or not, I have had my fair share of experiences with this situation. However, I have had many, many problems getting down in such a small, cramped place and I figure I should do something good for once and let you guys learn from my mistakes. So, here it goes.
1. Pick a secluded spot. This may seem pretty obvious, but you have to remember that even if there is one person around, it will kill any chances you have of getting her pants off. For some reason, most girls are shy about getting it on in front of strangers ... crazy bitches.
2. Throw your clothes in the front seat. When you're in such a dark, cramped place, you are going to want them to be away from where the bodily fluids are going to be. Just trust me on this one.
3. Leather DOES NOT equal better. You know how when you get hot and sweaty, your body tends to stick to leather and you have to forcefully rip your body off of it? Yeah, well, just remember that balls get sweaty too and ripping those off of leather does not feel very good.
4. Bring a cum rag. You're going to need to clean up afterward even though they may never show that part in James Bond movies. A cum rag is important because if you don't have one, the only thing to use is your sock, and you don't want to forget about that when you are getting dressed ... which brings me to my next point ...
5. Don't get your cum rag mixed up with your oil rag. This one is pretty self-explanatory.
6. Don't even bother trying to get your pants back on. It is virtually impossible to get your jeans on when you have two feet of leg room. The only other option would be to turn sideways and get them on like that, but you have a high risk of kicking the girl in the face ... even though that would be pretty funny, she probably wont go out with you again after that.
7. Avoid it at all costs! I know you just might be really horny. I know you may be with a really hot girl (just kidding). Just take my advice and avoid it because sex is not worth the trouble of getting your penis crushed in the back of your mom's compact VW.
I hope that helped. Have fun and remember: wrap it before you tap it!
Comments? jeremiah@yourapathy.net
© 2004-2005 by Jeremiah