God damn, college kids love online poker

Everywhere I go, I see college kids talking about their online poker escapades. Well, I need some money and instead of playing the game like a sap, I've decided to start my own online poker business. The one big difference in mine that will separate it from the rest of the online poker empire is that it wont be online. Oh, and also nobody will be playing poker.

Instead, people will show up at my door to come play a game or two, but instead they'll receive one or two baseball bats to the nuts. I'll then take all of their money and we'll call it a day.

Some people might call it assault and robbery, but I see it as a public service. When you go out to play poker, you're going to lose all your money anyway. I'm just saving you some valuable time. Besides, I've got The Karate Kid 's Pat Morita sponsoring this project:

Get it? It's supposed to be like "wax on, wax off!" Oh, man, that joke sucked.

And we all know Pat Morita wouldn't sponsor something unless it truly kicked ass. He does sponsor Preparation H after all ... At least, it would be cool if he did.

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